Getting Rid of Unwanted Gifts

When a beloved family member or close friend gives you a gift, especially a handmade gift, it’s hard to depart with it even when you don’t like it. Just the thought of someone taking their time and/or spending their money on you pulls at your heart strings. “What a wonderful gesture”, you think, and that gift becomes a treasure of the heart. Your bond with that person grows stronger and so the true purpose of that gift has been fulfilled.

However, there comes a time when all gifts, even the ones you give to other people, need to be given or thrown away. An unwanted gift should have a shorter duration in your home than a valued gift. This is hard for some people because they feel that if they throw the unwanted gift away, they’ll be throwing away their relationship with the person who gave it to them. Relationships mean so much more than a physical gift. “It’s the thought that counts.” Between the person giving and the person receiving, there should be a mutual understanding that the gift is merely a symbol. Once given, the receiver should have the right to do with it as they please. If that’s not understood, then there are deeper issues than what this tip can address.

All unwanted gifts that you keep out of respect should be re-evaluated within 3 months to a year. A gift transforms into a possession and too many possessions can easily clutter your home if you let them. Some valid reasons for getting rid of a gift are if:

• it’s broken.


• it’s put away and collecting dust.


• you don’t have space for it.


• you’ll never use it.

If you’re really concerned about the giver’s feelings, be upfront and honest with them. Tell them that you really appreciated the gift and the gesture meant a lot to you, but that you no longer have need or room for it. Your relationship with that person will and should thrive. If the gift is still in good condition, give it to charity or to someone who will really enjoy it. Matching the gift to the appropriate charity is especially good (i.e. giving handmade blankets to women in crisis). The person who gave you the gift will most times never be offended by that. The thought of someone using the item, even someone they didn’t originally give the gift to, gives some validation of the time and/or money they spent on it.

How Long Should I Keep My Records?

Deciding how long to keep your personal and business records is more of a science than a rule. Some key questions you should ask yourself when evaluating whether to throw away or keep a document are:
· Will I ever need poof of this in court?
· Could this help me win a dispute?
· Am I still paying on this?
· Is this still showing on my credit report?
· Did I report or itemize this on my taxes?
· Does this have important historical value?

If the answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you should consider keeping this document for several years.

Most people keep their utility bills and small purchase receipts longer than necessary. If you don’t have a problem with the charges and the answer is “no” to all of the above questions, throw it away or shred it.

The following chart is a recommendation of how long you should keep various documents. Please contact your accountant or lawyer for special exceptions.

Chart Link

Mastering Your Time

Having enough time in the day to get all of our tasks, assignments and chores done can be a great challenge. We are bombarded with instant messages, wireless phone calls, tons of emails and a steady stream of information from the internet. Oftentimes, because our society has conditioned itself to have instantaneous responses and results, we feel like we have to get everything done all at once or we are failures.

What do you do when you can’t keep up the pace with all the constant demands on your time and attention? The answer is: you have to learn to make good use of your time. Strategize your day! This does not include watching television. If you lack energy, reevaluate your diet and exercise habits.

The following are suggestions to aid you in mastering your time:

I. Make a daily reminder list of things you need to do. Some people think that if you write things down, it’s a sign that you’re getting old. Not so! By writing things down, you are able to free your mind of “thought clutter” and strategize your day. There are several ways to make a reminder list depending on what works best for you:
a. planner/piece of paper/sticky notes
b. electronic devices (too many to name)
c. Outlook-task/calendar/flags
d. dry erase board

II. If you’re having difficulties managing your time, estimate the time you think it will take for you to complete each task, assignment or chore; write down the latest acceptable deadline to get each task done. Take notes on how long it actually took you to complete each assignment and what caused the difference. Continue to do this until you’re able to develop the skill of estimating time in your head. Practice makes perfect!

III. Take advantage of small blocks of time rather than waiting for large amounts of time. If you have 5 minutes here, 20 minutes there, you can complete several items on your task list. Anxiety results from looking at the whole picture, constantly replaying in our head all the things you have to get done. Break your assignments down into small attainable parts and strategize your day. Also, handling small tasks are great when you need a change in pace.

IV. Take a couple of minutes each morning to strategize your tasks according to priority. Take a few minutes each night to plan your tasks for the next day.

If you start by following these simple suggestions, you’ll be well on your way to mastering your time.

Establishing a Paper Flow System

A paper flow system should operate the same way you digest your food. When a plate of food is placed before you, you immediately decide what’s good and what’s bad. The good stuff goes into your mouth to be processed and the bad stuff goes into the trash. The food in your mouth is quickly broken down into parts, swallowed, and then broken down even further into individual nutrients. Some are stored for a long time and some are used right away. Either way, you need these nutrients to help you make it through the day; the week; or even the month. After your body is done using the food, you discard it.

Just like your digestive system, there are 3 basic parts to a paper flow system:

• Inbox
• Storage & action file system
• Outbox

Follow These Simple Techniques

As soon as you get your mail from your mailbox, proceed into the house, stand directly over the trash can and sort the junk mail from the “real” mail. The mail you plan to keep should always go directly into your inbox, not the kitchen table, sofa or floor, etc. Your inbox should be easy to access and convenient for you to use. Schedule a time to go through your inbox at least once a week. This will keep your paper flowing nicely and prevent clogs in the beginning of your system.

If you haven’t already, you need to create storage and action files so that when you go through your inbox, you’ll have a place to put everything. Papers without a home cause clutter. Action files, also known as working files, should be placed at arms’ length. Label them with verbs such as READ, PAY, FILE, SHRED, etc. These verbs prompt you to do something. It’s imperative that you also spend adequate time creating a storage filing system to house all the papers you plan to keep for a long time. Without a storage file system, you won’t function well and your papers will grow out of control. Make sure to purge your storage files at least once a year to keep your papers flowing.

**Always keep a trash can and paper shredder near your paper flow system**

Position your outbox near the office or home door so you can grab your papers and go. Nothing’s worse than wasting valuable because you can’t find one piece of paper. If it were in your outbox, your troubles would be over.

If you structure your paper flow system with an inbox, storage and action file system and outbox using simple techniques, you’ll always keep your stack of papers at a manageable size to digest, free from stomach aches and heart burn.

Organizing Children for Success

“How do I teach my child to be organized?” one parent asked. This is a very good question that many parents are concerned about. It’s always best to teach your children organizational skills as soon as they reach the level of understanding what you say. Even around the age of two, most children can learn the skill of organizing their own toys. However, many parents make the mistake of exclusively putting all of the toys back themselves. This bad habit can also lead parents to cleaning their children’s rooms. At this rate, unless your child has a natural gift, he or she will never learn the necessary skills of organizing. Without organizing skills, some children may fall behind academically or socially. Fortunately, it’s never too late to teach disorganized children the basics of organizing.

Start by approaching him or her in a loving manner, with a non-judgmental attitude. Find out what’s working well in their space and what's not. Ask a lot of questions to get to the bottom of their disorganization.


Examples:

Q: Michael I noticed that you’re having a hard time putting your stuff away. Can you please tell me why your things are always on the floor?
A: I don’t know where to put everything. It’s easier for me to find what I’m looking for when I spread them out. Then, once I find what I’m looking for, I’m too tired to put it back.

Q: Sarah I know you have a hard time cleaning up your room. Can you please tell me some of the reasons why you don’t clean your room regularly?
A: I’m too busy to clean my room. Besides, I like my room just the way it is.

Some answers your child may give you will seem a little vague but keep asking questions until you understand the root problem.

Explain to your child in a non-critical way that it’s time to develop a plan for him or her to get organized. You may struggle in the beginning so move forward at a pace that’s not overwhelming. Work on one area at a time and make a serious effort to ignore the rest. No one can become completely organized in one day or even a week. Work along side your child to create a system that he or she can manage. Most parents come up with systems that they enjoy and expect their children to follow them to perfection. Wrong! Get your child involved in developing a system that works with their learning style and habits. Explain the purpose of each system so that he or she will understand the benefits of maintaining it. You can even show your child pictures of what an organized room looks like.

Teach your children the basics of organizing:

Purge at least 2-3 times a year--more if necessary. Things accumulate in everyone’s environment and purging is necessary to maintain every system. Get rid of things you no longer have use for.
Sort through all your remaining belongings and categorize them. Put toys with toys, books with books, clothes with clothes, etc.
Make sure everything has a home. Homeless belongings tend to cause confusion.
Let your child maintain his or her own system-not you.
Follow up to see how things are going. You’ll know their systems are working properly when they can find things with ease.

Teaching children organizing skills is challenging but the reward is their success. Just knowing that they can take care of themselves and be productive in society will bring nothing but satisfaction and peace.

If you’re having a difficult time teaching your child to organize, seek professional help.

Suggested reading: The Organized Student by Donna Goldberg. This is a fabulous and very informative book on how to teach your child organizing skills for school and beyond.

Finding Time to Organize

Has it been more than a year since you’ve last gone through all of your things and organized them? Many of us struggle to find the time to organize because we are so busy with work, family and extracurricular activities. Unfortunately, the longer we put off organizing, the more chaotic our homes and lives become. This adds to our stress, which keeps us from being as productive and efficient with the work, family and extracurricular activities that aided us in being disorganized in the first place. What a vicious cycle!

Take control and get on the road to organization by scheduling one mini project at a time. Pace yourself! Your home took years to get to its present state so allow yourself time to reach your end goal. Start with the room or area that bugs you the most. Once that room is completed, tackle the next annoying area and so forth. Make an overall deadline to complete your entire home or office. Here is an example:

My Roadmap to Organization – Deadline: September 1

• July 12: Organize bedroom closet



• July 28: Organize home office



• August 1: Organize garage



• August 11: Organize kitchen pantry



• August 25: Purge filing cabinet

For those of you that have less flexibility, schedule a timeframe as well (e.g. 2:00 PM – 5:00 PM).

Once you start a mini project, make sure you stay focused and don’t allow yourself to be distracted by anything. Turn off your home phone, cell phone, TV and possibly the radio (dancing and organizing don’t mix J). If you have children, try to make arrangements for them to be gone! If you lack motivation, call on family members, friends and also professionals to help you stay on track.

Don’t put off being organized another day. Start now and find a time to organize.

Prepare for the Worst: Gather All Your Vital Documents

Scenario: You came home from work only to find that the tropical storm lingering out in the Atlantic Ocean has rapidly turned into a category 3 hurricane. Your home is in the direct path of the eye of the storm and officials have called for a mandatory evacuation within 4 hours.

In this scenario, how long do you think it will take you to gather all of your important documents assuming you won’t have a home when you come back? If you said an hour or more, that is way too long! It shouldn’t take you more than five minutes to grab all the papers you need. You will have a very hard time trying to put your life back together if you’re missing critical documents.

Start now by using this checklist to gather all of your important documents and store them in a fireproof, waterproof or safe deposit box. Use plastic covers for passports, birth and marriage certificates, etc.

Don’t let another hurricane season go by without you being prepared.


Emergency Document Checklist

· Copy of driver’s license
· Passport/ Immigration papers
· Social Security Card
· Certified copy of birth & death certificates/ Adoption papers
· Certified copy of marriage license/ Divorce
· Church records
· Copy of medical & dental insurance
· Home insurance policy/ Photo of valuables
· Property & vehicles titles/ Deeds
· Wills/ Trusts/ Power of Attorney
· Income tax returns (past 3 years)
· Investments/ Stocks & bonds
· Credit card/ Loan information
· Bank information & contact
· Employer benefits statement
· All account numbers & passwords
· Medication list
· Resume/ Address history
· Cash ($2,000 if possible)· Current pictures of each family member (pets too!)